chicken alfredo

I mentioned in the banana muffin post that I was trying to eat less carbs lately. The new year is upon us, and I gotta tell ya, nothing feels better than abstaining from grain. It started as a weight loss strategy, and after losing 40 pounds this year (round of applause, thank you very much, gush and blush etc), I figure I'd commit to it for as long as I can, that is, until it causes me problems. I think very fast about lots of things all at once, and this mental disposition tends to distract me from my daily tasks. It wasn't until after eating under 20g of carbs a day last spring (keto diet, look into it for stupid weight shedding) that I noticed my ability to sit down and focus on my work dramatically improved. I vaguely remember reading some research fragment linking carbs to distraction, with parents of ADHD kids following the same diet as epileptics with unimaginably successful results. This sounds cultish, I know, but it's not dangerous, and is delicious, without any additional effort involved other than preparing your own meals and taking the bun off of burgers. oh, and no more pbr. or pizza. or pasta. which are all difficult to psychologically distance myself from, but hardly impossible and entirely worth it.

This dish is one of my comfort meals. I remember my mom making portobello alfredo when I was in the 7th grade, and loved how it smelled, the subtle mushroom and cream almost like a soothing lullaby, if that makes sense. I feel lulled by this dish. The smell makes me roll my eyes closed and smile. Hers went all gray the next day in the fridge, I'd pick out mushroom caps and long  linguine and shove it in my maw, fingers caked with pasty chilled gray sauce. It's funny how things like that stick in the memory. I make the pasta for the kid and the fella, but stick it on the side.

I use thighs for my chicken recipes, preferably with the bone and skin. The flavor is insane, and the meat stays juicy. I think it's cheaper than its skinned and boned counterpart, too, and thigh costs MUCH less than breast. This morning, after I walked Mr. Chubbs, I tossed six thawed thighs into a freezer bad and poured in a marinade i improvized -- oil, vinegar, curry powder (i was out of cumin and there's a ton of it in my red curry powder), salt and pepper, basil, thyme, onion and garlic powder, paprika -- shook the shit out of the bag and shoved it in the fridge until dinner time. Marinade is easy, use oil, and acid like vinegar, lime juice, soy sauce, and some flavor. You can marinate in sour cream and milk, too, which is so freaking delicious. Keep it simple but don't be afraid to throw your whole spice cabinet in there, or keep it plain. There are tons of marinade recipes online, from teriyaki to a bottle of italian dressing. Marinate for at least two hours so it can work its way into the meat.

I have a stovetop cast iron grill that takes up two burners, and I love it. On the grooved side, I turn the heat on medium-low and flick some water on it. If it sizzles, it's ready. I coat the pan in oil before adding the thighs, skin down, then leave them alone for like ten minutes. I'm sure I could look up how long to cook the chicken, but really I just eye it and flip it when it's blackened. When the other side looks dark, I cut into the biggest piece to make sure there's no pink and the juices run clear before turning off the heat. I leave the chicken on there, though.

While the chicken cooks, I nuke some frozen broccoli and sautee portobellos in bacon grease with garlic and onion. I throw in a little sea salt to add to the flavors, and once the mushrooms are browned, I add a little water and scrape the bottom of the pan. You can use wine or broth to deglaze for extra flavor. I need to make broth so bad. I've got tons of bones and onion peels in my freezer. I may do that tomorrow. While the broth reduces, chop the thawed broccoli into forkable pieces before adding to the mushrooms. Pour some alfredo sauce over that, stir and turn the heat to low for a few minutes to marry the flavor. If you use the jar alfredo, after pouring, add a tiny bit of water to the jar, cap and shake, and pour in. The jar I used was 14 carbs for the entire jar, which isn't bad. I usually make my own sauce, but i am so broke right now, I could only spare the buck fifty on a jar of bertoli instead of twice that for heavy cream and cream cheese. Still damn good though.

I rip the bones out of the thighs and stick them in my freezer for broth, then peel off the skin for Cheebs, which makes him quite happy, before slicing up the meat and tossing it in the alfredo mix. And that's chicken alfredo! Serve noodles on the side, they can boil while you cook the rest of it. You can do garlic cheese bread and a salad, too, but I just eat the chicken and veg and cream. Takes me back! But it doesn't turn gray, it goes kind of orange. Weird. I'd like to add roasted red peppers, too, it's very good in this and the color is insane. Enjoy!

banana nut muffins

"Fish, want some bacon and eggs?"
"Scrambled eggs, and bacon, and PANCAKES, mom. Pancakes!"
"Fish, banana pancakes!"
"Yeah!"
"Wait! Banana muffins!"
"Oh yeah!"

And the eggs never happened, but I really want some, and haven't had any of the muffins yet. look at it! so moist and inviting! I need to bake some bacon (the proper way to prepare bacon, bet that) and scramble some cheesy eggs, I am starving. And I'm trying to low-carb it, due to all the potato and flour I've been eating lately. So no muffins for Heather this afternoon. You should have some, though. They're easy and quick, and make your house smell like happiness.

I mix a cup and a half of flour with a half teaspoon of salt, a teaspoon each of baking soda and powder, and a little less than a cup of sugar. Use half white, half brown sugar, or do what I do and add some molasses into the batter. Mix an egg with some mashed banana and mix into the dry bowl. I freeze my nanners when they go all brown and splotchy, just like I freeze my bread heels for crumbs and veg peels and meat bones for broth (in a container that says "turn me into soup"). Peel your bananas before freezing them. You're welcome. Then nuke for half a minute and mash with a fork. I used three bananas for this.

I also threw in a cup or so of chopped pecans, because I had them on hand and it makes the smell all the more insanity-inducing. I bought them whole, then ground them up in my coffee grinder. I want a food processor, my blender isn't the same. Can't wait! Spice up the batter with some cinnamon, allspice and nutmeg before spooning into a muffin tin and baking at 350F for under a half hour for regular sized muffins, 10-15 for mini muffins. Grease the shit out of your pan, though, or use muffin liners. mine stick like mad to the container, even if i spray the pan. I dunno.

"Mom, these don't taste good, they taste AMAZING." Have some with some coffee or milk, whatever you do. Eat one before they're gone. I want bacon. Bacon and cheesy eggs. Oh man, muffins. Yum city.

pierogis

Poor little Julia came home with a fever today, but she was all about eating some pierogis before passing out early. Poor little thing was fading in and out as I made them. These are time-intensive, so be prepared to be in your kitchen in short stretches with frequent breaks for resting and cooling. I enjoy being able to walk away from dinner, or I try to do too much and I get stressed out about dishes when dinner's not ever ready yet. It's good to take a breath.

I've made these for years, since I first had Julia. I stuff them with mashed potato/cheddar, and cabbage/onion. Bacon is excellent in the cabbage, but I wanted to save mine for breakfast, and added the oil to the onions I was sauteing instead of raw bacon chunks, so meh. Wasn't meant to be tonight. While the potatoes boil and cabbage cooks with the garlic and onion, I make the dough, which is simple. Take half a container of sour cream (a cup/8oz), add three eggs and mix, then add three cups of flour, a little salt, and a teaspoon of baking powder.  Divide the dough in half and roll it out, then cut circles out of it with a biscuit cutter or cup, whatever's handy. Put the dough circles on a plate, slightly overlapping. Don't place directly on top of each other, or they'll stick together. Stick them in the fridge for fifteen minutes, do the same for the fillings. Mashed potatoes is easy, it's butter and salt and pepper and a little milk, easy peasy. Time for a break :)

Boil a little bit of water for the pierogis and get the dough and filling out of the fridge. Roll out the circles again and fill with a spoonful of filling, then fold the dough over into a half-moon and seal with a fork. You can do this in your hand too, but I use the fork because I always tear mine. Plop a dozen at a time in the boiling water for a couple minutes, until they float and feel firm when you take them out. Take out with a slotted spoon, put into a tupperware (now you can pile them on top) and stick them in the fridge before filling your second batch. I got three batches out of tonight's dough following this recipe exactly, or about 35 pierogis. Take another break :)

Preheat the oven to like 250 or so, not too high. Once all the pierogis are boiled and chilled, fry them in butter and onion until they're golden on each side. Again, fry in batches: take out the first tupperware that went in, and fit them all in there. Don't leave them unattended or they'll burn, and the process is so tedious it sucks to lose one like this. All that effort, wasted. When they're crispy and golden, place them on a cooling rack resting on an oven pan and stick them in the oven so they'll stay warm for you. And that's pierogis!

I like to dip with sour cream, and I've been really taken with horseradish and sriracha lately, so I added both to mine, and did not regret it. It might be too intense for you, though, and plain is just as good. Share with friends, save some for packed lunch or midnight snacks, they're decent cold, somewhat. You can nuke them to reheat, but if you can, stick them in the oven so they stay crispy for you. I feel enriched after making these, maybe it's all the steps involved? It's one of the more elaborate meals I make, and I don't make it often, but I am also broke as hell, like broke as HELL right now, and pierogis are low-cost/high-yield. Think about it: potato, cabbage, flour, egg, onion, garlic, oil, sour cream. Salt and pepper. Cheap as hell. You could get all that for under $15 and have a bunch of leftovers, as well as extra filling as a side dish.

No matter how strapped for cash you find yourself, please buy fresh garlic. It is important in food, I hate cooking without it, and usually don't. And I used a new peeling technique for my head of garlic today: take two metal bowls (I used cake rounds), cut the head off the garlic, then place into one pan while mashing the bulb with the other pan to separate the cloves. Invert the squishing pan and hold tight, then shake the shit out of it, like shake the SHIT out of it, and voila. Peeled garlic, swear to god. It's almost too good to be true!

Enjoy pierogis, and buy a head of garlic if there's none in your kitchen. You embarrass me, I paid fifty cents for mine and it takes every dish, EVERY DISH, to a higher culinary level. Appreciate your food, use garlic. And sea salt. Yes it matters, go buy a big ass box for like a buck and stick it in a nice bottle by your stove. Salt taps into the potential of foods, I see that now. You don't taste the salt when you add the right ratio, without it, you can't taste the food, if that makes sense. Salt does the dish justice! Garlic is aromatic and endearing! Oh man! Pierogi frenzy!

weekly meal plan

Sundays at Walmart are a confusing mix of terrifying and hilarious, an oversensory conflict challenging even the most seasoned shopper. Lots of impoverished and irritated middle americans of all ages in a neck-snapping post-service rush, some still in their church clothes, all unable to yield even the slightest to oncoming strangers, in the right or otherwise. Today gives casual cart-pushers an opportunity to bear witness to some aggressive consumer dynamics. While scratching items off my itemized list, I observe forty-somethings in heavy perfume mean mugging overweight elderlies in mobility scooters blocking an entire aisle to eye the sausages for an eternity, and pairs of hoodied high-school girls weaving through the shoppers without a cart, giggling uncontrollably. Some chick without makeup on slammed into a scootered shopper while attempting to pass her at the same time as I. It wasn't funny, but I had the right of way, and you've gotta gear down when it's crunch time and let these bitches know you mean business!

I navigate well, I can make it from the back to the front in one pass based on my list, even found an empty lane to check out in. Julia knows how to help unload, too, and puts the egg/bread first, then the produce, then the frozen, refrigerated, box/cans, and lastly the non-food items. Good people put the divider before and after their cart contents, remember that before I judge your inconsiderate ass as I wait behind you next week. Forgot the cabbage, except I didn't, I forgot to go to another store for it, because I'm not buying a fist-sized head wrapped in inedible outer leaf. Gotta get it later this week.

I'm starting to get distracted, I just ate like three pizza rolls I made when I got home (wrap pepperoni, pizza sauce and mozzarella in crescent roll dough and bake for like ten minutes), and I want to get back to my schedule planning for next semester. Gonna be busy!

MEAL PLAN:
SU -- burgers
M -- broccoli quiche
T -- meatball pasta
W -- kielbasa and cabbage and latkes
TH -- chicken alfredo with broccoli and mushrooms
F -- stir friday
S -- pierogis

I saw these insane burgers on Facebook first thing this morning, and I haven't made them in a while. I don't eat the bun or pasta on the days listed, I keep the noodle separate from the rest of it so I don't need to pick it out. i'm so used to taking the bun off and abstaining from noodle that i figure why add it again, right? quiche is easy and tasty and quick, plus making my pie crust is the way to go, saves money and yields a higher quality product. latkes are cheap to make, just potato and onion, and i needed the cabbage for my pierogis on saturday, so i figured, cook with it twice, easy dinner. pierogis need sour cream, to dip and for the dough, AND to dip the latkes in.

Alfredo is easy, again, and mushroom-broccoli alfredo has a comforting smell to me, especially after i put like six cloves of garlic in it. i make cajun chicken for it, it's spicy and colorful, and turns the sauce an orangish color. stir fry is usually egg rolls and crab rangoons, but this week i was on a crazy tight budget and decided to make chicken stir fry with broccoli, baby corn, water chestnuts and bamboo shoots. i'm experimenting with stir-fry sauce, should be pretty tasty with garlic and lime and soy sauce and garam masala. i make pierogis two ways, cabbage/bacon/onion and mashed potato/cheese/bacon. so good, and fish loves to help with that.

this was my list for this week's meal plan:
potatoes
buns
mozzarella
kielbasa
cabbage
bacon
egg
oatmeal
baby corn (which i already had, ugh)
chicken
onion
garlic
pepperoni
crescent rolls
lettuce
sour cream
alfredo sauce
peanuts
apples
pocky
fuzzy water (all four for julia)
Dr. Pepper (gabe)
toilet paper

which all came to under $75, believe it or not. my dad gave me his burger meat, which saved me quite a bit. julia likes taking leftovers with her for lunch at school, and i make bacon and eggs or oatmeal for her in the morning. I'm trying to wake up around 6 instead of 7 so I can walk the dog and run at the rec center right after dropping off fish at her bus, instead of drinking coffee and surfing the internet for an hour after she leaves for school. i'm trying to get into next semester's habit now, so it isn't hard for me next month.

okay, attention level nosediving. i'll upload food photos as they appear.

oven breaded whitefish

my god, that fish is incredible. sorry about the low-quality cellphone photo, but i was in a rush, and really want to come back to this blog. what follows was originally posted to Facebook, but it needs to be here, too. For posterity. And delicious reflection. 

Here is the colloquial recipe:

take frozen whitefish and stick it your fridge to thaw overnight. when you're ready to nom, make your tartar sauce, which is so easy, you'll regret ever paying a corporation for premade paste -- a cup of mayo, a couple spoons of relish (i use a dill pickle spear cut up into little chunks, but plenty use sweet relish from the jar), counter the pickle with a lot of lemon juice (like 2:1 lemon:relish), add minced onion or onion powder, add a little sriracha, and let that marry in the fridge for at least ten minutes. 

when the sauce has firmed up a bit and the flavors are well-mingled (you can tell, just stick a digit in and lick it before and after, there's a noticeable difference when it's melded), pat your thawed fish dry with some paper towels, then coat them lightly in flour before spooning the tartar sauce on the fish. do one side at a time, and have a wide dish (i use my tupperware, whatever's the length of the fish) filled with breadcrumbs and shaker parmesan powder. 

put the fish, tartar side down, one at a time, in the breadcrumb/cheese tray, then coat the other side of the fish with tartar and shake it a bit to cover evenly, sprinkling the breading on the fish so it sticks. remove fillet and place in a greased oven pan (i use one of my twin circle cake pans, fits two fish in it snugly). repeat for all other fillets, then stick in the oven at 400F for ten, fifteen minutes, until the edges go almost black and the breading passes gold and starts to brown in most places. it is awesome, lemony yet light-tasting, and no frying required.

i paired this with a sliced yellow squash, sprayed with oil and coated in the remaining tartar/breadcrumbs before baking it alongside the fish. they both finished together, and were incredible. gabe says it was awesome, and i've been meaning to make fish once a week, so this recipe's a real winner. found it on reddit, in a weeknight dinner thread. definitely try it! a huge bag of frozen whitefish (the cheap ones) is under 5-10 bucks, and is supposed to be quite good for you, aside from being delicious and light. yum!

Banana Nut Bread

My father requested this recipe sometime last week, and I thankfully had the foresight to jot the idea down in my kitchen journal as he said it, then revisit the note with a formal recipe (here's the one i used), until finally I could wait no longer : had my mini loaf pans with the lids ($2, guys) and my bananas on the counter were starting to show brownish-blackish spots on their skin, so it was good to go for a banana nut bread day.

I love baking on a cold day. The house is sealed up so tight, once the heat hits the windows it condenses on contact, giving my home an effect of being in a sauna, or a good-smelling cloud. The child in me wants to draw in the cooling layer of window wet, but the asshole in me just wants to scrawl "FUCK YOU" seventeen times. It is a balancing act, being an adult, I suppose. \

These turned out moist and flavorful, with a nice browned crust and a signature spice to it, not to mention the bread screams bananas once it reaches your mouth. Get your house smelling good with this recipe, and give yourself a busy morning breakfast option, if they make it till tomorrow (I froze a loaf, after displaying one and giving one to a fellow kitchenista that lives down the hill. She always gives me food, and I don't want her to stop, so I figure returning the favor is the only ethical solution. Plus, if you accept a dish from someone, you're sort of socially bound togastronomically  reciprocate. Manners!)

BANANA NUT BREAD
350/an hour

• 2c flour
• t salt
• 2t baking soda
• c (2 stick) butter
• c sugar
• c brown sugar
• 2c banana (overripe)
• 4 egg
• c walnuta
• t vanilla
• cinnamon
• ginger
• nutmeg
• allspice

1. preheat the oven or you'll forget and fuck this up.

2.  mix everything together, wet with wet, dry with dry. make sure to really mash the bananas up. i usually cream my butter and sugar together, makes it smoother. make sure to not overstir, or it'll be rock hard. 

3. fill muffin pan, loafpan, really whatever you want, as long as it's 3/4, so it can rise properly. Test it with a knife or a fork for doneness. Don't burn these, you'll feel terrible and they're not salvagable once black. I tried it once. Tasted like shit. Do avoid. Just set an alarm and you'll be fine. I usually bake with my nose anyway (burnt sugar smells like defeat, it does!).

4. Let cool before removing from pan or attempting to slice, or it'll crumble or you'll shove your thumb through it and not only fuck it up, but burn the shit out of yourself. The bready insides are boiling ass hot, and are an unmerciful experience to any soft, fleshy digit or unassuming thumb. Share with the family or they'll resent you. Pretty sure they can smell it baking from their house.