the best damn meatloaf in the entire fucking multiverse (it's quite the claim, but i'm quite the culinist"

My mother's husband introduced this recipe to us in the 7th grade, and it's been a favorite of mine ever since. Gone is the red sauce and spongy texture, this recipe is simple and straightforward, using few, familiar ingredients. Last year, my father had the genius notion to make individually-shaped loaves versus a pan-sized one to slice, as this method increased crispy surface area. My jaw dropped at the suggestion, as will yours if you hurry the fuck up and get this paid for, prepped and into a preheated oven.

I usually make a 3 lb beef purchase (those 80/20 tubes) into a dozen or so loaves, and nuke leftovers all week (I just finished the last leftover loaf earlier today, actually, so it's only fitting I include this here). Remember to preheat your oven to around 400 first thing, prep your meat, pop it in a pan with some mushrooms and onions, boil some water for your veg (broccoli for me, but you can whip up some potato mash, if you're so inclined), and BAM -- dinner in around a half an hour.

RECIPE FOR BADASS END ALL BE ALL MEATED LOAVES OF CHEESE OOZING YUMSTUFF

3 lb beef (80/20 is juiciest)
3 eggs (an egg per pound)
a packet lipton onion soup mix powder (my secret ingredient to so much shit. all hail flavor powder!)
a small block pepperjack (don't be a pussy, it's not even spicy)
a small block mozzarella (extra ooze factor)

AND THAT'S IT. mix together the meat, egg and soup mix (just the powder, don't add water), shape into palm-sized loaves (mine look like oval soflballs) and stuff with cheese (press a slice in and mold the beef around it. you wanna seal in the cheese or it'll ooze out into the pan, which is fine, it happens, it's just much more satisfying to fork-cut a meatloaf that oozes with zesty cheese when you do versus stacking pre-oozes semisolid cheese discs on top of it. again, it's all good, it's mad hard to cock up beef and cheese).

TIPS: coat the pan bottom with foil for easy clean-up and DON'T FORGET TO CHILL THE LEFTOVERS. can't confess how many times i've fucked my mouth out of seconds because i was too lazy to stick leftovers in a tupperware, then the ice box. TURN THE FUCKING OVEN OFF. use napkins with this one. reheats in 2-3 m on high.